Many parents think that separation affects no one but themselves. This is not true when there are children. Even if we do not pay attention to them, the youngest suffer from divorce, arguments, misunderstandings and all that can lead to a breakup. Having divorced parents can be a situation that many children do not know how to handle on their own. Moreover, it is also common that they have many doubts and that they need someone patient and understanding explains them.
It is no coincidence that many children who have divorced parents end up with problems at school, start flirting with alcohol and drugs at an early age, or put an end to communication channels that connect them to their family. Children suffer as much as parents, or more simply because they see that one of the first relationships they have as a point of reference fails completely.
The Consequences Of Divorce Depend On Age
Things will be different if a child is 2 or 6 years old at the time of separation. Situation change and the level of maturity is also very different. Therefore, depending on the age of the child, the child will be more or less affected by the divorce of his parents.
A child who is not yet 2 years old does not understand what a divorce is, let alone the consequences that the latter will have. But despite that, he knows that something is wrong, or at least something has changed, that there are now variations in the emotional state of his parents. He is also aware of their absence. This absence very often results in a feeling of abandonment ; depending on the environment, if the child is not sufficiently safe, the psychological consequences can be significant.
A child who is between 2 and 3 years old is at a very difficult stage, in full development. If the separation has a great impact on the small, the consequence can be an important delay in its development: a delay at the moment of acquiring certain psychomotor faculties, difficulties to learn the language and problems with the control of the sphincter. A child of this age also does not understand what a divorce entails, he just knows he wants his parents to stay together, and that turns into a dream for him.
If the child is between 3 and 5 years old, he knows – or at least guesses – what divorce is and what it involves, and that is why he will ask many questions. The problem arises when, with his desire to find answers, he faces lies , things that do not stick and that, therefore, will accentuate the feeling that the world has turned into an unsafe place. Among the fears that can be accentuated, there is the fear of being alone or that one of his parents abandons him. He can therefore be very possessive with one or both of them.